Turning Five

Jillian woke on her 5th birthday to a room full of balloons, a special birthday shirt, and a surprise breakfast of donuts. I think she has been ruined by Grandad's Krispy Kreme tradition, however, because she didn't think Daube's hit a home run with the sprinkled cake donuts. I have never seen her leave part of anything sweet on her plate and she barely touched it!

Too excited to eat, in her words

The special birthday shirt was not surprisingly paired with her beloved bird skirt.

We had the morning at home before she had to go to school, so we opened a couple little gifts, did some crafts, and painted toenails.

A little spa time in Mom's bathroom

Rainbow toes!

Jillian was excited to go to school and be the snack helper, wear a birthday sticker, and get a gift from her teacher. Afterwards, I decided to make a brave first-ever trip to Color Me Mine for a little ceramic painting with the girls. I thought my little craft-lover would really dig this idea on her birthday, and she was very excited about this surprise. The girls and I managed to paint two pieces and not break anything in just under 30 minutes. Success.

Adrienne selected this cat

Jillian was into this Hello Kitty jewelry box

Fun stuff! Only an anal mom like me would bring smocks....

The kitty creation

A box for treasures. Can't wait to see the finished products after they've been fired! The waiting is killing the girls, by the way.

After our art adventure we ran home to meet Matt and went to Jillian's chosen restaurant--Valentino's (aka "the pizza place where you can get the cheese curd sticks"). She whined all through dinner so that we would hurry home for gifts. She opened presents from us as well as some that arrived in the mail from grandparents.

Trying out the marionette from Grandpa and Debbie

Adrienne kindly gave Jillian the beloved "talking Sofia doll" she has been asking relentlessly for. What a nice sister.

Majorly fascinated with amulets in this house

After gifts we surprised Jillian with a yummy little birthday treat--some ice cream cupcakes that A picked out from Coldstone. 

A special day celebrating our special girl! She is beyond excited for her party on Saturday...big times around here.

5

Dear Jillian,

I am writing this post on the eve of your 5th birthday. You are sleeping in your room above mine, and I am killing a bit more time to make sure you are really out before I go and fill your room with balloons, lay out your birthday shirt, and hang streamers from your door. I have to admit that I am feeling a great deal better that I was five years ago on this night. I was in pretty bad shape at this moment, sure that I would never make it through that almost 30 hour labor to meet you. Thankfully, your dad kept reassuring me that I would survive, and guess what? I did! You were worth every contraction, every vomiting episode, and even worth that broken tailbone that still causes me problems when I sit for long periods of time. Whatever the struggle, you are worth it. With each passing year, I come to understand more about what my parents experienced raising children, and grow to appreciate their effort more because I am in the thick of it, or "in the weeds" as your Grandma Paula says. On the days when it feels really hard and really monotonous and really taxing, I frequently think to myself--"Wow, this is what my mom and dad did for me". It's a strange sort of gift to receive that perspective, but it's really cool.

As you turn five, I feel like I'm getting a whole new dose of perspective. Why? Well, because I can start to really see your heart form, and a new level of maturity rise to the top. It's kind of a little bit of validation for your dad and I because we can start to see our "work" take root (and that's pretty hard to see when your kids are infants and toddlers). I feel like you are suddenly turning into a very grown-up kid who has thoughts about a whole range of subjects, from-the-heart prayers, hard questions that I can't always answer in a way that satisfies you, and feelings that truly get wounded when the world doesn't respond in a way you expected. Currently, you are really into solving "problems" with friends. Most weeks, we have some sort of drama that you want to process. You have a kid in one of your classes who apparently doesn't want to be friends with you. He is friends with your friend, Jonah, and it just doesn't seem right to you that he refuses your friendship. My heart hurt listening to you at the dinner table, "Mom, I asked Colton to be my friend, but he said no. WHY doesn't he want to be my friend?" Your dad and I stumble around on our words to try and help you understand, and reassure you, and then suddenly you perk up with your usual resolve, "I am just going to keep trying to be friends with him". I love your persistence and determination--especially when it isn't focused on battling with me! In another example, you were telling me just this afternoon on the way home from school that you and Ella needed to talk more on Friday at church, that you have some stuff to "work out". I asked what that was about and you said, "Well, Mom, we have a little problem we need to solve. See, Ella likes to play with everyone, and I just want Ella to play with only me. We don't get enough time to play together just us. I don't know how we are going to figure this out, but we will talk about it again. Ella is special to me so we have to work it out". I couldn't believe what was hearing--it wasn't a fit or a whining episode about someone not playing with you, it was honest, sincere desire to get along with your BFF, and shows me that you are starting to really understand that relationships are important.

I can also see a new type of self-expression coming through, both in actions and words. You are starting to qualify your outbursts and frustrations by telling me that you don't think something is fair, that you are angry, that your feelings are hurt, and so on. It's really helpful to me, actually, and I feel like I can explain situations to you on a deeper level because of it. And you are creative. Oh boy, you are creative. The stuff you can make out of paper and tape really astounds me. In the last week alone, you have come up with a very elaborate "flashlight", and a dog house (we don't have a dog, of course, but you do have a little sister who is willing to play one).

The "flashlight". You informed me that if I just pressed on the bone stickers it would turn on. I really love your bed head, by the way.

Working on the "dog house". It's pretty elaborate. And it did require two entire rolls of scotch tape. I admit it requires focused deep breathing on my part to allow this "masterpiece" to remain in the front room of my house.  

And then there is your fashion sense. It's like nothing I've ever seen. You are so confident, and while I never ever would consider wearing some of your ensembles, it really just seems to work for you.

Rocking it. 

One of my favorite things about you is how you seek to involve your little sister in your life. You want to play with her, teach her, mother her (sometimes a bit too much), just be with her. I know the day is coming when you will want to cast her aside for new experiences and friends, but for now, I will just enjoy this. Yes, even the fighting.

All of these things I've mentioned tonight--your confidence, your persistence, your determination, your creativity, your heart--they all add up to make one amazing little person. Jillian, you are beautiful; full of joy and spirit and life. I love you, I am thankful for you, and I am so excited to see what you accomplish and enjoy as a 5 year old. Happy Birthday to you!

  xoxo , Your Mama

Shannon nailed it when she captured this shot of you--this is my Jillian.

P.S. I took a stroll down memory lane. Here are links to my thoughts on each October 29th since your birth.....

Birth
One
Two
Three
Four

Spooky

The girls are getting in the Halloween spirit. Via books and some Halloween-ish episodes of their favorite shows (Bubble Guppies and Sofia the First), they are talking about things being "spooky", as well as ghosts, and witches. I'm thankful this is all light hearted still and nothing truly scary has entered in. I'm sure that is coming. Jillian did freak our sitter out the other night when she told her (as she was putting her to bed) that there was a ghost behind her. She didn't elaborate any more than that, and on a dark, windy night I think it did feel a bit creepy to the sitter. Thankfully, Jillian cleared that up the next morning when I asked her about it--"I was just being silly, Mom!" Whew. Today I pulled it together and made some sugar cookies and frosting for the girls to decorate. I will be honest and say that this is not my favorite task to have little hands involved in. I found a cookie pan at Target that was a mold for bone-shaped cookies, so I had to buy it. What better Halloween cookie for an MSK Radiologist than a bone? Jillian thought it was pretty fun to make her dad some "spooky bone skeleton cookies". She was pretty neat in her frosting and sprinkle applications. Adrienne pretty much just ate hers, so this didn't leave much in her bowl for the cookies.

A's cookies on top, J's creations below. 

I quickly ran to the store to pick up a forgotten ingredient before dinner tonight and Matt decided he'd take the girls out and carve a pumpkin or 2. They were all excited about this when I left. When I returned home, Matt was frazzled and the girls were not "into" the activity anymore. So, he basically carved the pumpkins by himself and we enjoyed watching them as we ate dinner via dimmed "spooky" lighting . Per Jillian's request we have one "goofy" pumpkin and one "scary" pumpkin.

Actually, we have 3 Jack-o-lanterns, if you count Jillian in her festive apparel.

Goofy and scary. Nice work, Matt!

The Dichotomy

Adrienne is just a dichotomous little creature these days. She has two very distinct sides to her, and there's not usually much in between. Let's discuss these two sides, shall we? Each contain snippets of her that I don't want to forget.

The little devil in her has totally decided she's not potty trained. Ever since I gave up a few weeks ago (meaning I put her back in pull ups because I was tired of cleaning up intentional accidents), she has regressed. Her pull ups are nearly always wet, and she rarely will sit on the toilet for me. Generally, she tells me when she has to "poop a really big one" and then she goes, but the last two mornings I have come in to discover that she pooped in her diaper (that is thankfully duct taped so she can't pull it off). She tells me, "I pooped in my diaper. Are you sad, Mommy?" She clearly understands emotional manipulation. I have now decided that I am going to buy diapers and not talk about potty training anymore for about a month. Then we will reintroduce the underwear and start anew. It is maddening to me that she WAS potty trained, and now is just choosing not to be. My choice in all of this is that I am not fighting this battle right now. And then there is the independent streak. Heaven forbid if I try to buckle her in her car seat, or even assist her into climbing into the car and car seat. She also insists on climbing out of her seat and car. This means it takes us about 10 minutes to get in and about 10 minutes to get out. It makes my type A-hurried blood boil, to be honest. She puts up a redonkulous fight and screaming show if I try to scoot her along and help in any way, and I just am tired of hearing it so I am learning to exercise some patience (which is probably good for me). This weekend she name-called for the first time which totally shocked me. She was gritting her teeth in anger at Jillian and fumed, "Jee-yee-an, you are stupid!" My jaw dropped. I scolded her and insisted she apologize and she turned into a puddle of tears, screaming for a tissue to wipe her eyes. It was quite dramatic. I've also seen her push and hit Jillian on occasion. All normal sibling rivalry type stuff, but it catches me off guard each time the ante is upped.

OK, enough about my little devil. Would you like to hear about my little angel? Just look at her sleeping sweetly (always under her pillow or with a blanket over her face, and with random toys or objects in the bed).

So. Every single time I help her put her pants on, or pull them up, or wipe her after going potty, she reaches up, hugs me, and says in her little nasally voice, "Mom, I love you". After the hug comes the kiss. The kiss comes straight for my lips, and it never accepts a cheek. Then comes the second hug. She never once misses this sweet ritual. She also does this cute fake little yawn thing (complete with a dramatic arm stretch) anytime you get ready to put her to bed, or when greeting her upon waking. It's the most adorable thing ever, and if I could get my act together I'd record it. The other thing I find completely endearing is her pure joy and exclamation whenever I come to retrieve her from Kids Club at the RAC, or at church, or anytime we've been apart. She comes running toward me giggling and shouting, "Mommy, you came back! I missed you so much, Mom!" She is snuggly and frequently still checks in while playing for a hug or for a few minutes of a snuggle ("I want you to snuggle me, Mom"). If she gets hurt, feelings hurt, whatever, it's game over. She is a cling-on and won't let me put her down. On Friday as we left for Bible study, she came up to me as I was packing my bag to load up the car. She had her large Curious George canvas bag on her shoulder and exclaimed, "Mommy I want to take my bag to church like you". She was born a mama's girl and I think she's gonna stay that way. And last but not least, she has fallen into my very favorite speech articulation faux pas....the "r" that often sounds like a "w".  It's totally adorable and melts my heart. Just like her.

Ben Broccoli and The Light Ball

Two things:

This morning Jillian and I were discussing options for what to bring for show and tell this week. The letter is "L". We tossed around lots of ideas...lion, lemon, lime, lollipop, lace...and then "A light ball, Mom. I think I should take a light ball". Hmmm...."What's a light ball, Jillian?" Then she reaches up for the pendant lights above the counter and said, "You know, Mom, these things that screw into the lights". Um. "You mean a light BULB?". She looked a bit exasperated and said, "NO MOM. A light BALL". Got it.

And at dinner tonight, amidst a conversation where she and Matt were discussing jobs (she is learning about occupations at school this month). Jillian is pretty sure she wants to be an apple picker someday for her job. That is the latest (and I forgot to say that she told Dr V. this when she asked her at her appt last week), and Matt was trying to suggest that maybe she should be a farmer, own an orchard, and hire people to help her pick the apples (instead of just going with it). At one point I got up from the table to take A to the bathroom and I overheard the conversation continue. Matt asked her if she wanted to be the President of the United States someday. She wisely answered "No way". Then he asked her what the president's name is. Without delay, "Ben Broccoli". I guess Barack Obama is just a hard name to remember. After some coaching we got it to "Brocko Bama", but I totally see how she came up with the broccoli part. Definitely a highlight giggle of the day.

Pre-Kindergarten Well-Child Check

I took Jillian for her Pre-Kindergarten well-child check today. We had a little time together before the appointment and enjoyed a snack and coffee (or chocolate milk) at Starbucks while Matt and Adrienne were hanging out at home.

Love those green eyes

This is my kid. And she looks REALLY big.

I had a weird wave of emotion sweep over me as we drove to the appointment. I suddenly recalled the very first pediatrician visit we took her to as a screaming newborn just 4 days old, and now we were walking into the same office (same nurse, same doctor) with a child just days away from her 5th birthday in what felt like the blink of an eye. That is the kind of realization that will really make a mom feel sentimental. Sniff.

As part of this checkup, Jillian got to participate in vision and hearing screenings. She was pretty happy that we could skip the lead paint blood test since our house was built after 1950.

Pointing to pictures during the hearing test

Jillian is now 3' 9 1/4" (93%) and 43 lbs (73%).  She giggled during the entire exam, and I thought was a bit more squirrely than usual (I recognize this now as pre-shot anxiety). We talked about her toe walking with Dr. V (though Jillian is able to walk on her heels, she is very flat footed and prefers to toe walk), and all continue to agree that this is fine. We will continue heel cord stretches and encouraging her to walk with a heel strike. I asked Dr V to talk to her about this, as I think some of it is attention getting from a parental standpoint. She listened intently to the "mini-lecture" so we shall see if it works. We also discussed her continued need to wear a pull-up at night (despite being potty trained for almost 3 years), and Dr. V also reassured us that it is pretty normal for kids to wet the bed until at least 7, and that if either Matt or I had bed-wetting problems (Matt says he did), we can expect our children to since it tends to be hereditary.

Checking out the otoscope

Waiting patiently for the nurse to return while reading a book

While I knew that this visit would require a shot, I didn't realize there would be FOUR (3 vaccines--DTaP, MMR, IPV, plus a flu shot). Geez. We were already scheduled for flu shots on Monday, so I gave Jillian the choice to either get all 4 now, or get the 3 and then get the flu shot with A and I on Monday. She wisely chose to get 'em all out of the way. It wasn't pretty. I couldn't get her to stop watching the nurse and she tried to swat her hand away during the first stick. I wised up and held BOTH hands for the last three, and thankfully, she was swift and Jillian recovered quickly. Poor baby.

4 bandaids for 4 battle scars. Ouch!

Just Us Girls. Again.

Matt just returned from a 5 day trip to Tucson (that's his second 5 day trip in a month, but who's counting?!?), and it always feels good to have everyone back together again. I am pleased to report that we didn't have any trips to the ER while he was away, or any other major catastrophes. Jillian, however, really, really missed her dad. She always misses him when he travels, but this was different. She just seemed affected by his absence in a very real way. I saw lots of increased emotional outbursts and a different level of sensitivity. She was more scared at night, had some trouble sleeping, and was quick to whine for him whenever I had to discipline her. She is definitely a kid who prefers everything in her world in place as it should be. Despite this, I think we managed to have some fun and make some special memories in his absence. I always try to do things a little differently (in a more spontaneous way) when he's gone. Here are a few pics I snapped of our solo time...many are those I texted to Matt at various moments to keep him up to date while we were apart.

For a split second, I wished we had a dog. "Uh-oh! I dwopped my Alpha Bits" Yes, you did.

Parked at the Farmer's Market. We did this sans wagon or stroller. I bribed them with the promise of doughnuts from the apple orchard vendor. And then they were out. 

So, the compromise was an early lunch at Chipotle. We totally terrorized the other patrons as they waited in line. A of course had to wear J's fire hat (from her fire station fieldtrip on Thursday), and her "amulen" (amulet. yes, it's a toy medal of J's)

We hit Soccer World for a birthday party, and A got to run with the big kids. She finally made it to the top of the bounce house slide.

My biggest monkey

Monkey see, monkey do

Inhaling cake, ice cream, juice. Not touching the fruit...

After some time at the RAC on Sunday, I took them out for ice cream and then we stopped by a park near J's school. "This is the best day of my life, Mom!"

One of our new fascinations: firefly toothbrushes that have a  blinking timer while you brush

After being up with J for over 2 hours the first night, I finally suggested she sleep with one of her daddy's t-shirts. She loved this idea.  And it really did help. She wore it every night thereafter.

Smoothies and suds! The girls always get to bathe in our big master tub while he's gone, and on this day, I added our daily smoothie to the fun.

I planted these iris when we moved in. They didn't bloom at all this spring (did last year). Suddenly, they did this week, and are so unbelievably gorgeous and fragrant. I smile at this because they always make me think of my Grammy (she loved these and had many varieties on the farm), and ironically, she passed away 4 years ago tomorrow.  Maybe she's up in heaven smiling at this, too.

The girls' favorite little gift from Matt's trip--cactus candy (made with prickly pear juice)! A ate hers faster than it took Jillian to get hers out of the package. For real.