Dr. Jekyll and Miss Hyde

I am perplexed by Jillian's apparent double personality. To put it delicately, we have been struggling with some difficult behaviors at home. I am sure they are mostly normal almost 3 year old behaviors, compounded by the fact that she is still probably adjusting to Adrienne's arrival, and intensified by her "spirited" personality. In any case, Matt and I are at a loss for how to discipline her. Nothing we try seems to produce lasting behavior changes, and the kid is just plain smart--most always a step (and sometimes 2) ahead of us. I began to worry about her in preschool when she continued to tell me she "got in trouble" each day upon pickup for the entire first week. I still hadn't gotten any notes from her teacher notifying me of any problems, but I thought I should just check in with her. So, I sent her the following e mail....

Hi Mrs M.--Hope your school year is off to a good start. I just wanted to check in and see how Jillian is doing? She has told me several times that she "got in trouble", but I assume she's had no big offenses since there's been no note from you. She does not seem to mind getting reprimanded from us, but I've noticed she is very sensitive to simple redirection from other adults, so I speculate she's just referring to something like that. We have been dealing with an increase in difficult behaviors and a general sassy tone here at home (perhaps still adjusting to new baby, or her age, or just her spirited personality...or a combo of all!) so I just want to know if there's anything that carries over to the classroom that you'd like us to address/work on. Thanks much! Malia

About 24 hours later, I got the following reply:

Malia,

Thank you for your note.  Jillian has been great!  She has not gotten "in trouble", but has seen others have time outs, so that could be where it comes from.  Her behavior has been perfect and she has been a joy to see each day!  I will let you know if anything changes. :)

 

On Friday, Mrs M. greeted me at the door when I dropped Jillian off and said the following:

 "I laughed out loud when I got your e mail, because I thought there was no way we could be talking about the same kid! Jillian is our star student, and her behavior is just great!!"

I admit that I walked away feeling completely relieved, and will fervently pray that this continues to be the case. I'm just not sure how to elicit more of this cherub-like behavior at home. So, I guess Matt and I will just go back to the drawing board and plan our next strategy of defense against the willful mind of a 3 year old. Maybe by the time Adrienne is this age we'll have all the answers...ha!