Second Child Sillies

I am sure Adrienne gets the short end of the stick when it comes to pictures and video clips, at least when compared to the number I took of Jillian. Sorry, A, despite my best intentions I guess there is truth to what they say about the "poor second child". You really are hilarious. Tonight at dinner, you just randomly started styling your hair. It struck me as particularly funny because you haven't even seen The Little Mermaid yet--how did you know how to use a 'dinglehopper'???

This and That

A few things to share and sort out in my brain before I forget....


Regarding Adrienne:

-She is obsessed with a toy cell phone and credit card. This makes me nervous for our future, of course. The funny thing about the credit card is that she calls it a "peri-card" ("I have to find my peri card!"), which sounds remarkably like "peri care" to me. If you have birthed a baby vaginally you will know about peri care, and that's all I'm going to say about that subject. I overhear lots of conversations through the monitor as she makes the phone 'ring' and then "Oh hello puppy. I have to go. Bye bye" "Hi Kitty, it's Ay-dee-en. I have to go. Bye bye". The pictures of a puppy or a kitty show up when you open the flip phone, so she is talking to whichever she sees on the screen.

-Everyone or thing is a 'she'. "I love my daddy. She's so silly", or "Georgie is curious. She's a good monkey". This drives Jillian insane as she tries to correct her without success.

-Speaking of going insane, Adrienne is about to officially put me in that category with her potty issues. She is potty trained. Or at least she was. Suddenly this week, she is making ridiculously firm protests about going whenever I ask her (arching back, dropping to knees, pushing off potty, full on tantrums) or even when I set a timer and it "tells" her, and then she will proceed to pee her pants and not tell me. I haven't figured out if it really doesn't bother her, or if she is working me over. She has also pooped her pants three times this week, and tells me she has to go as she is doing it. I  keep telling her that I am going to buy diapers and treat her like a baby and she just says "OK". So that threat isn't going to work. I think we are testing limits and engaging in power struggles, and while I know it will pass, it is maddening. She senses my frustration, I'm sure.

-This child is articulate. She can make a highly detailed request and asks some pretty high level 'why' questions that I don't remember Jillian asking at this age. For example, she has a new book about an owl. In one of the pictures there are moths (that really do look like butterflies) in the sky ascending up towards the moon. She asked, "Why are the butterflies going to the moon?" Other inquiries I've heard are "Why is the baby crying?" when she hears a child cry, and "Why is the goat eating a sock?" (a goat has a sock in his mouth in the Baby Animals book). When she makes her requests, she doesn't mince words. "I want to go outside, Mommy". "I want the banana yogurt". "I want to go to the RAC and see my friends". "I want to get in the car by myself" (she can now. it just takes while). Most of the time she affirms her request by nodding her head as she speaks. It's cute. Except when I deny a request.

-Last night she was up screaming around 12:45. She must have had a bad dream, because she doesn't usually wake. I could hear "I want my lovey" through the sobs, so I went upstairs and found it and was tucking her back in when she says, "I need to close my eyes now, Mommy". I thought that was a pretty good idea. I went back downstairs and was just about to drift off when I heard more screaming. I waited a bit and it didn't stop, so back up the stairs I went. She did not appear ill, despite her frequent "My tummy hurts" declarations. I took her potty and she was happy as a clam. Just as I tucked her in again, she said "My tummy hurts". I told her I thought she was OK, and then she promptly lifted her shirt and said, "See, it does hurt". She is silly. She also told Matt that "Kitties don't have boo-boos" (boobies) as they were reading a book before bed. She still holds the title of resident goofball. No contest.


Regarding Jillian:

-Matt brought the mail inside the other night when he got home and he presented Jillian with a Halloween costume catalog that had her name on it. She quickly selected the costume she insists she's going to buy, because it's the most beautiful--a lollipop fairy. It also happens to be the most expensive--at $125. Ha! Matt keeps trying to explain to her that this is really expensive for a costume and that she will have to work for it if she's that set on it. Mommy over here thinks there's no way she's getting it, regardless of how much "work" she does. At any rate, this catalog is her prized possession and she will show it to anyone who will look at it (and even to someone who doesn't act interested). I am about to poke my eyes out as I explain we have a long time to wait for Halloween, which then prompts a fit of tears because she knows her birthday is right at that time and that feels like "It's NEVER going to happen! Everyone is turning 5 before me!!" Deep breathing is necessary for me. Often.

-After a few conversations last week that led me to believe Jillian needs more alone time with me, I decided to start reading chapter books with her at night. I have always had intentions of doing this, I just thought we'd probably wait another year or so. This seemed an easy way to carve out regular time that is just for us, and we started "Little House in the Big Woods" (the first book of "Little House on the Prairie" series) this week. We read a chapter each night, and while she often looks distracted as I read the 20+page chapter, her recall is really good and she asks appropriate questions. The darling part of all of this is that she is convinced chapter books are "tractor books". So I hear, "Mom, don't forget to bring the tractor book upstairs!" as she prepares to get in the bathtub each night.

-I took Jillian to her early childhood screening yesterday. In Minnesota, each child is supposed to attend a general health/cognitive screening after his/her 3rd birthday before registering for Kindergarten. The appt secretary gave me such a hard time about needing to bring an infant upon scheduling her first appt right after she turned 3, that I canceled it and waited. Almost 2 years. So, Adrienne happily played at the RAC and Jillian and I had a treat at Great Harvest and then headed to the screening. She was beside herself with excitement, as is per usual for her when any form of "school" is involved, and she was eager to participate in whatever Miss Carrie asked her to do. Jillian measured 3'9" (95th percentile) and was 41.2 lbs (68%). She passed vision/hearing screenings, and performed above her age range for the cognitive exam. I had to chuckle that the fine motor portion was toughest for her (primarily in appropriate pencil grasp and her detail in copying forms). It's fine for her age, but definitely her weakness. This OT-by-trade mom is busy being a mom, and unfortunately forgets that she has a bag of tricks to help with this. Jillian gets distracted easily and was quite wiggly during the test--while this is typical for her, I thought she was especially so. After we walked out of the room she promptly ran to the bathroom exclaiming "I have to poop!" Aha. Mystery solved. I thought Miss Carrie gave her a nice compliment when she said, "I can tell you really love life, don't you, Jillian? Everything is fun and giggly to you". Yup. She hit the nail on the head within 5 minutes of meeting her. That has always been one of my favorite qualities of Jillian's--she has always had a noticeable zest for life.

During the hearing exam

Building a gate like Miss Carrie's

-And this morning, Jillian presented herself at my bedside stating, "Mom, aren't I so helpful? I already did my hair, so you don't have to. I'm all ready to go"

The "already done" hair. No combing or brushing involved. She managed to put 3 clips in somewhere on the side of her head. I told her she looked beautiful and we went about our day.

Haircut

Adrienne had her first haircut today! This is about a year and a half earlier than Jillian. Although she does have a lot more hair than Jillian did at this age, I suspect the only reason we could hold out so long for Jillian was that her hair is super curly. Adrienne has fine, kind of stringy hair with a few soft curls (much like mine at her age) so her bang situation required some attention. She has been so excited to get a haircut, often coming to me saying "Mom, I need a haircut". Jillian needed a trim, too, so I had Adrienne watch her big sister show her how it's done, and then she took her turn. They both had a great time, and just like their mom, appear to enjoy a nice trip to the salon.

Watching Jillian

Getting excited as she was prepped for the cape

Oh boy! I'm such a big girl!

She grinned at herself the whole time.

Carefully cutting bangs

A bit unsure about this part

Loving her cleaned-up look

Sitting still was worth it for the "wollipop" reward

Just Right

I am sure we are not the only family with small children who looks forward to the weekend, and then struggles with the weekend. It is hard to find that 'just right' mix, where your expectations for productivity are actually aligned with reality, and a balance exists between work and play for all. We nailed it this weekend, and I am feeling so grateful for the experience of a 'just right' weekend--the right combo of alone time, couple time, friend time, family time, productive time, and rest. It must be documented.

I woke up Saturday morning and left the house bright and early by myself. I drove downtown to the Farmer's Market and grabbed a great parking spot before it opened, and took off on a run around the downtown loop. After my run I gathered my produce at my own pace, then hit Starbucks and Target on my way home for solo grocery shopping. I was home by 9:30 so Matt could leave for CrossFit, and he and the girls had been outside "working" around the playset in the dirt. They were all dirty, but happy. I was in a glorious mood after my perfect start to the day, and was feeling giddy after unloading the beautiful rainbow of produce I had purchased.

The girls and I picked up the house, shucked corn, watered plants, and made lunch while Matt was gone, then we all ate together before resting. After rest, the girls seemed content to play in the house (very rare), and they played so well together in the playroom for nearly 2 hours while we worked to change light fixtures and hang photos on our designated gallery wall in the basement. It was a project that always felt impossible to do when the girls were awake, yet we always felt too tired after bedtime to tackle it. We felt accomplished. Matt played Candyland and cards with the girls while I cooked, and they were tired enough that we had  no complaints at dinner and easy bedtime routines. Matt and I watched a documentary and actually went to bed early.

Sunday morning we hosted the Tauntons for brunch. We had mimosas and chatted while the kids played like angels, stuffed ourselves with french toast and egg casserole, and then watched the kids play outside while the guys played with power tools and hung Matt's hard core pull up bar in the garage. They left around noon and we all went in to grab a mid-day rest, and then Matt and I headed out for a fun afternoon/evening date around 2 when the sitter arrived. I beat him badly on the tennis court at the RAC, then we cleaned up and enjoyed happy hour on the patio of the Tap House, dinner outdoors at Chester's, and a stroll through Barnes and Noble for new books. Perfection.

Skills

This is an important skill for a Midwestern girl to develop.

Now if only I could get her to eat it.

Nature Camp

Jillian spent mornings this week at Quarry Hill Nature Camp. Quarry Hill is a local nature center that has fabulous educational programs for kids, and a summer camp that is beloved by many. You can't attend until you are 4, so Jillian has waited what she feels is a "long time" for this experience. To give you an idea of the camp's popularity, registration opened in March. I sent my registration in on the first day (meaning it arrived on the second day), and I got my second choice of the week I wanted Jillian to attend. Hard core, right? It was worth it. Jillian excitedly attended each morning, and learned a ton about reptiles, birds, frogs, mammals, and insects. She spent lots of time hiking outdoors, learning songs, and fun facts about nature. She has declared it her favorite camp of the summer so far.

All the preschoolers gathered around Dee, the loving and enthusiastic lead teacher for her age group.

You can see Jillian raising her hand to answer a question here.

Finishing her possum artwork right before pickup

With her BFF, Ella. They have a sweet friendship, and it was so great they got to spend the week together in the same small group.

The Old Me

I am going to talk about myself for a little bit. I think this story is important for my girls for several reasons, and it's safe to say that I could forget my thoughts about it before they are old enough to understand. My mom and I have had many conversations about how it's easy to forget these early child-rearing years when you are older--meaning that you forget the struggles, the all-consuming needs, and tendency to totally lose yourself and wonder where in the world 'the old me' went. 
I just finished my first season of league tennis play, and I can now say I am hooked. I want to play tennis all the time. If you would have asked me a year ago if I thought I would play tennis, I would have laughed. First of all, I was a volleyball player back in the day, and volleyball players don't play tennis. Second, I admit I am averse to the whole dr's wife stereotype, and felt a little uncomfortable about walking around town in a tennis skirt while I dropped my child off at preschool, etc. It feels pretentious to me. But, I got over all that and started to play. Poorly. Tennis frustrated me to no end at first, and my perfectionism reared its big old ugly head as I fought to control my emotions, intensity, and tendency to compare myself to how everyone else in the class was doing. I was barely hanging on, sticking it out to do this as a favor to my friend. And then about 3 months in I fell down the stairs and bashed my shoulder up. I figured this was the end of tennis for me. Despite the fact that my injured dominant shoulder was not my dominant tennis shoulder (get that straight?), I still needed it for backhand and serve tossing, etc., and tennis is really a full body sport. So. While sidelined, I was bummed to be missing class, and surprised by this feeling. I figured that perhaps I just missed the social time because I had really grown to enjoy our group--some of us old friends, most of us new friends. And then one day after a 3 month hiatus, I decided to go back to class. It was beyond awful, and you can ask my friend Jenni how many times I proclaimed that I was going to quit. She laughed at me, because she knew better. We had a new coach who didn't know me, and my teammates had all improved a great deal. I realized one day as I fought back tears of frustration that I wanted to be good at this sport. So I started racking up my RAC bill with private lessons and became determined to be "good enough" to join my teammates in the summer league play. I had a goal. I am a task oriented person and need goals to strive for. I met my goal and was able to play, and while I expected to lose every match this summer, I ended up winning two! I can see improvement in myself and I want more. Now when I am on the tennis court I feel like the old me, and like I am rediscovering the old me. I forgot so many things about myself--that I am insanely competitive, that I really am athletic, that I can be quick, that I am coordinated, that I am intense, that I am determined and persistent, and have a drive to continually improve. OK, so I probably deep down know these things about myself, but they have been lost among the shuffle of the last few years--the pregnancies, the months of breastfeeding, years of poor sleep, diapers, laundry, dishes, taxi cab driving, you name it. I think the reason I am so excited about this new hobby is that it is the first thing I have done since becoming a mom that is truly just for me. Yes, I love to cook. But we have to eat. And I love to shop. But we have to have clothes. You get my point. I don't HAVE to play tennis, I WANT to play tennis, and I play it ONLY because I want to. I am really proud of myself. I am having fun, I am succeeding at something new (at an age where I am starting to feel 'oldish' and like I don't have time to do anything extra), and I am motivated to do something that feels good to me, just for me. Girls, this is good. It is not selfish. I need to do things to stimulate those parts of me that get lost, so that I can be my best self for you. I hope that someday when you are mothers you can find something that makes you rediscover old parts of yourself, challenges you to improve, and promotes both mental and physical health. It's easy to let it slide, but the effort is oh-so worth it. I am worth it. You are worth it.