Farewell, Summer

As I've just tucked my little ladies into bed on the eve of their first day of school, this summer is officially over. In short, I loved this summer. Really, I did. In many ways it was way way way too busy (and fast), but I feel really good about a lot of aspects of it. We enjoyed so many visitors, got to spend time with cousins, tried tons of new camps and activities, had fun with our weekly (most weeks) activities of cooking/science experiments/crafts, got to be a huge part of an awesome wedding weekend, enjoyed family days to WI and the cities, snuggled in for movies in the basement, tried some new parks, played lots of new board games together, worked outside, got in a tiny bit of pool time, the list goes on. I am so grateful. This was the first summer that we weren't in "nap jail" with a napper, and I honestly loved it. Yes, the days sometimes get long and kids get cranky, but it's so great to be able to be out enjoying the entirety of a day or be spontaneous and not worry about getting home to nap.

Girls, you are so fun. I mean, really, really fun. You passionately adore each other (and sometimes passionately despise each other, as to be expected where siblings are concerned) and really learned to play well together this summer. It is my prayer that you will always be friends and grow up to know how blessed you are that you have each other. So as much as I loved this summer, I know it's time for it to end. The lull of tolerance for low predictability has passed in our home and everyone seems to crave the structure of the school year--it's rhythms, activities, and seasons. 

Adrienne--you are off to preschool as a "big girl" tomorrow. I pray you don't pee your pants because this has been your deal lately. I am just banking on the fact that you never do this out of the house, only when home as if to taunt me or prove to me that you are in charge. It seems intentional, but really, can't you find some other way to assert your independence? I digress. I am excited for you to get to experience Kingdom Kids and to have Mrs Leif as a teacher. She is the ultimate of preschool teachers and you will be well-loved and cared for, this I know for sure, and you will definitely learn to follow rules, be kind to others, and you will learn a whole lot about Jesus (and this will please your sister, she is dying for you to get up to her speed in the Bible knowledge department). You will make your own friends (not just hang out with Jillian's friends) and you will share your sweet, funny, ornery, and loving spirit with your classmates. My sweet baby, you are growing up.

Oh Jillian. Jillian. Jillian. Jillian. Here is where I admit that I have been so ready for you to go to kindergarten since you were about 1. I honestly have questioned my ability to nurture and feed your quest for knowledge, need for high levels of entertainment and activity, and tireless energy--I think that sometimes I felt only school could satisfy this. Now I know I am wrong, and I regret sometimes wishing that time away. While I know it is time, and that you are more than ready, my heart is heavy and anxious and a bit emotional tonight as I think about these last almost 6 years. It has gone so fast. Have I enjoyed it enough? Tomorrow I am sending you out in the world (not really, but man it feels like it!)--at least out of the bubble of Kingdom Kids, where it is comfortable, Christ-centered, and small. You are going to the big neighborhood public school, and while your dad and I feel this is the best decision for many reasons, I am still scared. Is this the right choice? Time will tell. What I do know is that you are going to rock this. Yes, you are anxious--and I admit, the verbalization of your anxiety has kind of jarred me a bit because up until about 2 days ago you've been so excited. Yesterday after orientation I took you to Panera, just the two of us, and in your classic demonstrative gesturing and head tilts you conversed with me about the reasons you are nervous, "Well, Mom, you see, Mrs Dyer said we are going to read at least like 100 words, and that's a lot. I just don't know, Mom. That sounds really hard. What if I make a mistake?" Since that moment we've had lots of talks about what it means to grow, how you have to make mistakes and should expect them, just try your best, etc. I think this will be a constant conversation as we seek to encourage you and remind you where you find your true worth. I prayed with you at bed tonight, held you close, and then we looked through my bracelets so that you could choose one to wear tomorrow as a reminder that I am always thinking of you. I am going to drive you to school with a lump in my throat and do my best to hold my happy/anxious/sentimental tears inside so that you can exit the car feeling strong, confident, and brave. I'm going to kiss you, give you our traditional 'thumbs up', and remind you that I love you. You've (We've) got this.

Last day of summer Mc Donald's picnic on the deck!