Big Kid Stuff

Jillian is living the life of a big kid these days. She's reading a lot (to herself, to us, to her sister) and becoming more helpful around the house (so helpful that it's kind of cramping my style because she just insists to do something I'd rather do myself--mostly kitchen stuff. I'm going to need to learn to share!). It's been interesting to listen to Jillian's perceptions of what makes someone "big". For example, last week she proclaimed that she wanted to just shower whenever she wants. "Mom, you shower whenever you feel like it. Grownups do this. Why can't I take a shower whenever I decide instead of when you tell me to?" Uh....? It's a good question. I realize I need to take the opportunity to indulge her these small bits of independence that really don't matter to me, so that she feels a little more validated and like she has some freedom. I do not give up control easily, but I am learning. Dirty looks, sighs, and eye rolls are regular parts of our conversations these days, and I'll also have to find a way to not let this get to me (visibly) because again, it's only going to get worse from here. I had dinner with a friend who has a 17 year old daughter this week, and I found myself chugging my wine as she was talking to me about the stuff she is dealing with. Lord, have mercy on me! I was so relieved to come home and sort jelly beans for preschool Easter eggs after that conversation. I'll enjoy this stage while I can.  Our level of 'big kid' over here is just right for me right now.  Unfortunately, big kids deal with big kid stuff and we are beginning to experience hurtful teasing from people we thought were friends, name calling, and even a shove into a puddle at recess. This has all been confusing to Jillian, especially since the girls in questions really seemed like friends to her for most of the school year. This is only the beginning of a long road, as I know from experience. Girls (and still women) are not kind to each other. We've had a lot of chats about kindness, how to walk away, when to get an adult, etc. Hopefully they are sticking.  A few things about our resident big kid this week....


School took Spring portraits and Jillian felt very strongly about picking her background, clothing, and dictated that I was to blow dry and flat iron her hair for this occasion. I wasn't wild about a fake outdoor scenery background, but again, this was an opportunity to take a baby step of letting go, so I let it fly. She brought the pictures home yesterday and I nearly fainted. I heart this picture; it epitomizes so much about her big kid-ness right now. I can even deal with the background, because I am too distracted by my beautiful, growing daughter to notice it.

The writing continues to get smaller, more legible, and more thoughtful.

Matt took Jillian to her first official elementary school carnival last night (A and I stayed home due to the pink eye). She came home bursting with joy and enthusiasm from the special time with her dad and was SO proud of the school sweatshirt he bought her.

Part of being a big kid is participating in school fundraisers. Let me say it once: I hate the idea of school fundraising. I've never been one keen on things where you have to ask friends/family to spend money to help you out, and the coupon books that kids around here sell don't have many we'd use. But yet, I buy them because I feel bad for the kids coming to my door (and while I don't like the idea of fundraising, I'm happy to provide money to support schools--that's not the issue). For the fall fundraiser I noticed an opt out option, where you could just return your packet and a $40 donation to the school. Perfect. This time, they showed the kids a video of all the cool prizes they could win and presented it to them before I ever got to see/hear about it. I have issues with this, too, but that's for another post. So, we have five $20 coupon books to sell for Rochester locations, and Jillian honestly believes she HAS to sell them all. She desperately wanted to get started today, and to do this herself, so we worked out a little speech and I stood on the front porch to watch while she went and did her thing. Just after I snapped this pic, she turned around and hollered, "Mom, go back in the house. I'm good!"

There goes my little saleswoman off into the world.

She was bummed to find 3 houses on our street unoccupied and then was turned down by another neighbor (who has two kids that have solicited at our house sooooo many times in the last year and I have supported them every time...sigh). She came home devastated. Crying. Sobbing. "I just think I didn't say the right thing! I'll never sell these books!" Ugh. Thank you, school, for putting unnecessary pressure on my first born perfectionist. We had a heart to heart about timing of sales, about lowering expectations, and about not taking rejections personally. I was emotionally exhausted by 10 a.m. today!