It Was The Best of Times, It Was The Worst of Times

I've been thinking about this for awhile now. Finally, I've decided that Charles Dickens said it best. If you've ever read A Tale of Two Cities, you know the famous first line of the book reads, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times". Side note: I was forced to read the book in high school for English. I fought it kicking and screaming, and then fell in love with it in the last 50 pages. Brilliant read. Wonder how I'd feel about it now? Maybe I'll re-read. I digress.

So, Charles summed up how I feel about parenting right now: It is the best of times, it is the worst of times. Allow me to elaborate. I told Matt the other day that I feel like the polarity of my feelings about the girls right now is dramatic--I either find them totally darling and wonderful, or completely demon-like and annoying (I say this with love, of course. Do not misread. You moms will understand).  I just can't' get over the vast discrepancies in their behavior, intense mood swings, their love or hate for one another at any given minute, and the ability to exercise (or not!) self-control. I honestly feel like we have 4 children. We have a sweet, responsible, caring 5 year old named Jillian (child 1); a disrespectful, moody, defiant 5 year old also named Jillian (child 2); a sensitive, funny, darling 2 year old named Adrienne (child 3); and (perhaps worst of all right now--sorry, A!), a screaming, climbing, manipulative, fist-shaking 2 year old named Adrienne (child 4). I am never really sure which combo of the girls will show up. When child 1 and 3 show up, we are flying high. When child 2 and 4 show up, it's bad. Really bad. A mix of the two gives me hope for one during moments when the other seems lost. Got all that? Girls, I don't want you to misunderstand what I am saying as you read this someday and get the wrong idea--my like/love/whathaveyou for you is NOT dependent on your behavior. Again, it's NOT dependent on your behavior. I just am having trouble reconciling the fact that I often feel like we have not done a good job of teaching you to respect us, and that is problematic for me. I know you will disobey us, and I expect that. But the respect thing is a non-negotiable. It's got to happen. We all need to respect each other. I know you are little, and have so much to learn, and need lots of practice, and grace, and guidance. I do, too....this parenting gig is not for the faint of heart.  Blah blah blah. I am having a hard time expressing myself here. So, maybe some examples will help. Why specifically do I think this is the 'best of times' so far? Allow me to list a few things I am loving right now...

-We are diaper free!

-We are stroller free!

-I don't need a bag to haul anything in. I keep extra change of clothes for each in the car and just bring my purse!

-I don't need to haul special cups or food or silverware

-My kids can put on their own shoes (if they are willing), jackets, get in their car seats, and buckle (just need me to tighten them)

-The girls have wild imaginations that come up with some super fun play schemes

-They can play together and generally enjoy that

-They love to help in the kitchen

-They enjoy similar outings and experiences, and we can do those spontaneously

-They sleep all night, and rarely wake before 7

-They can have real conversations, ask questions, make inferences, tell me what hurts

-They love girlie stuff....hair bows, fun hairstyles, nail painting, dresses, all that jazz that I love about having girls.

-They are still little and innocent and full of wonder and say cute things

-They think Matt and I are awesome (for the most part) and want to be with us

And, the "worst of times"? Well....

-The cat fights. Man, they can scream at each other.

-Clenched fists, gritted teeth, and the occasional time out for slapping each other.

-Everything is boring, and nothing is fair. And they tell us. All. The.Time.

-They climb and jump on/off dangerous things. Still. All.The.Time.

-They ignore safety rules in the house (we have broken dressers, bumps, bruises, holes in walls, and broken window shades just in the last week to prove it).

-It feels like they need constant entertainment.

-They are total slobs. Trash is everywhere (it

-I feel like I am speaking to a brick wall when I give directions. No.One.Listens.Ever.

-The screaming (Oh, wait. Did I already list that? Allow me to list it again).

-The whining.
-The DRAMA
-The constant back-talking. 

-The disregard for rules. (Oh, wait. Did I already list that in other terms? Allow me to list it again).

If it sounds like I am being harsh, well maybe I am. One of the things I struggle with the most is my expectations. They are high. For myself, and for everyone else. Sometimes I need to put those expectations back into check, and remember a little concept called GRACE. Walking the line between my expectations and offering grace is pretty tough. So girls, I share all this openly and freely. I am not perfect, you are not perfect, your dad is not perfect. We love each other, we forgive each other, and we laugh with each other. Sometimes the worst of times can turn into the best of times. (Sofortheloveofeverythingthatisholywillyoupleaselistentomesometimes?!?!?!?!)

Yes, you two, I am talking to you

Goofballs. You two are lucky you are cute.


They have little hand jive songs they made up about being sisters. This is a "best of times" thing for me. Precious.