I don't typically write a Christmas letter, mostly because I don't have time, but also because I write this blog. I figure most people who know us and really want to know what is going on have this address. As is typical for me at the end of a year, I am feeling a bit reflective tonight and have a few thoughts to record for each of us while they are on my mind...
Jillian turned 5 this year, and with that brought the declaration that she can do all sorts of helpful things (next up is a chore chart for her), be "not scared of anything scary", and try new things. She dabbled in tennis and soccer (both deemed 'not fun enough') and continued swimming lessons. She was tall enough for the big slide at the RAC outdoor pool, and spent all her time there tirelessly climbing the stairs, waiting in line, and sliding. Her bright personality is reflected in her clothing choices, and she often stuns me with the colors and patterns she puts together. She is definitely more comfortable taking fashion risks than I am! She loves music, can sing along to most anything I listen to, and is a performer at heart. Her creativity and resourcefulness for creating things out of paper and tape blows me away (as do the sizes of the 'mess' left behind the creative fury). She loves Kinderchallenge and is excited about starting kindergarten next year. We are in the midst of choosing a school, and that process feels scary to this mom who is just sure her baby can't possibly be old enough (despite ready) to take this step. She has an awareness of and love for God that seems mature to me, and I am doing all I can to encourage that growth.
Adrienne, at 2 1/2, is a full diva in training. The amount of accessories she dons each day is overwhelming and provides plenty of challenges for clothing management. She works really hard at walking the line between being a big girl like Jillian and milking the baby of the family thing for all its worth. This means she vacillates between screaming to do something herself and screaming in distress for me to do something for her that she is perfectly capable of doing for herself (buckling her car seat, getting in her booster seat at the table, and washing her hands. She decided naps weren't for her this year, and did a number of naughty little "art" masterpieces with the contents of her diaper. She is passionate about Bubble Guppies, milk, and potty treats. She got her first haircut, learned to pedal her tricycle, and perfected the sweetest good night kiss. She can sense the second I am frustrated with her, and immediately declares, "Mom, I love you" in that moment. That is her secret weapon, and it works every time.
Things really starting rolling for Matt at work this year. He began to see the fruit of all his hard work and effort pay off in publications, speaking invitations, and got his first academic promotion bump to assistant professor. He doesn't like any sort of recognition, but I enjoy watching him grow as a radiologist and was glad to get to go to the academic promotion dinner. He manages to juggle a lot of extra duties and roles at work, and most recently became the director of the radiography program. It's nice for me to be able to give him a bit of academic political advice, as he has to deal with some of the same types of meetings and decisions that I did when I was working for the U. He is fighting hard to find time to workout and enjoy leisure activities for himself, and is like a new man now that he has his beloved sauna in the workout room downstairs. He started researching and collecting board games, and we play almost nightly together. It's been a great way for us to spend quality time after the kids go to bed without sitting in front of the TV or our computers. He (and I) made it an entire year without eating any meat (except occasional fish), and I suspect he will become an exclusive carnivore in 2014 after the experience. Matt is a devoted dad, and no matter the events of his day, he always arrives home excited to love on the girls. One of my greatest joys is watching this guy I fell in love with as a teenager be a father to our children.
For me, this year was a year of self-discovery. I decided that I would really take charge of my anxious tendencies, perfectionism, and self-criticism. While those qualities are part of what makes me me, they were making me miserable, driving too many of my decisions, and were setting a tone in my household that I didn't like. Basically, I realized that those qualities don't just affect me (which was my prior assumption). I was also missing a lot of quality time with my family in the effort to keep diligent control of everything. I am much nicer to myself than I was a year ago, and I think that my ability to accept myself will impact my children in an invaluable way. I'm in a much better place to extend grace to my husband and kids because I can do that for myself now. I read an article about self-bullying that really stuck with me, and I think of the words "STOP! Only love today" often as I go about my day. For some reason, the simplicity of that really speaks to me and helps me reset my thoughts and actions--toward myself and others. I re-discovered my competitive, hard-working drive through tennis this year, and loved learning and competing in a new sport. Bible study continues to be an important part of my life, and I am leading a study for the first time with the help of two friends. I have a pretty clear focus for 2014, and the theme of my resolutions really revolves around taking steps to strengthen my relationships with Matt and the girls. I continue to feel blessed to have the choice to be home, and I don't have any desire to do anything else right now.
So long, 2013.....we are thankful for and welcome a new year of possibilities and adventures.
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