A Pleasant Surprise

Saturday morning's events were rather unexpected. Jillian woke, as usual, full of energy and was literally running circles around me. I stumbled to the bathroom, remembering that I hadn't gotten my period yet, and I was certain that I was about to start based on symptoms I medicated myself for the night before. I knew that we were going to some friends for dinner that night, and that I would likely consume some wine, so just to be safe I dug out a pregnancy test. I did my thing, went in to see what Jillian was tearing apart, and then re-entered the bathroom to get ready for the day. I had almost forgotten that little stick on the counter. I picked it up and in one motion began moving towards the trash can, since I was certain it was negative (remember this was a "just to be safe" test, not a "I'm probably pregnant" test). I completely froze when I quickly glanced at it and saw not one, but two visible lines. Was this a joke? You see, people like me don't just get pregnant spontaneously. We call the dr. for a Clomid prescription, get blood tests, and track every bit of "activity" as we go through a medicated cycle. There are no surprises when your body operates as mine does. I have spent a lot of money over the years on "just to be safe" pregnancy tests because my cycles are so long and erratic, and I do enjoy a regular glass or two of wine. I am just cautious that way. I digress...
So there I stood, staring at the two lines, heart pounding, breath quickening, as Matt slept and the wild child was torturing me with her thrill seeking behavior. I was nearly frozen, unsure of what to do. So, I did what any mother of a hungry toddler would do. I left the test on the bathroom counter, took Jillian downstairs, made my coffee, and fed her breakfast. Matt and I would talk this over when he woke and then I could decide if it was really real or not.
About an hour later, as I was unloading the dishwasher, I heard Matt shout down from the upstairs bathroom: "Malia, is this a positive test?" My answer was a shaky "Yup" as he came barreling down the stairs to hug me proclaiming "We're going to have another baby!!". Still stunned, the tears started to flow. Do  not mistake the tears for sadness--not at all the case. Rather, those were tears of disbelief and fear. Disbelief that this was really happening without "help". Could my body really do this on it's own? The fear was related to worries I have about being a good mother. I struggle so hard with being patient with my toddler, can I really handle another and be a good mom? Pregnancy hormones were already in full swing, and those common irrational thoughts had overtaken my brain at that moment. Amidst my range of emotions I also felt an intense love and softness toward my husband. It's really moving to see a man who is so often composed be overcome with joy and happiness in that way. His reaction of pure joy brought me such comfort, and helped subdue my hormonal worries that threatened to kill the moment. So here we are. Pregnant with #2. I have taken two subsequent pregnancy tests with definite positive results, yet I struggle to believe that it is really true. Perhaps it is just that my reality is that I do have a nearly 2 year old who requires constant attention, and that I don't have time to dwell on the fact that I am pregnant and what a new baby will mean for our family. I have heard so many others say "the second time is different" on countless occasions, and only three days in, it seems to be true. Let the adventure begin!
Oh, before I end this post, I must report that Matt came home after a haircut on Saturday with the following items for me, grinning ear to ear:

If you read Jillian's blog, you will recognize these as items that I couldn't live without during the first trimester of that pregnancy. My beloved Pop Tarts and Perrier. Will I need them again? Time will tell....